Self-sabotage is a big problem. Especially when we have goals set or things we need to accomplish in a certain time frame. But what exactly is Self-sabotage really?
Dictionaries define sabotage as “the action of deliberately destroying, damaging, or obstructing something”. So by that definition, if we Self-sabotage, we are purposely taking action to delay achieving our own goals. Why on earth would we do this to ourselves? Logically, and on the surface it makes no sense whatsoever. But if we dig a little deeper to understand the underlying reasons, it actually makes perfect sense.
It has been studied that the main reasons people Self-sabotage are because of the fear of failure and success. Failure and success are two very strong opposing emotions that cause us to reject new challenges and embrace self-doubt. For example, we may aspire to do something new and challenging in our lives such as start a business or better our health. But our fears of success and failure will constantly create self-imposed obstacles to block us from achieving those goals.
So how do we stop doing this to ourselves?
Let me just say. By no stretch of the imagination am I perfect at this. But what I’m about to tell you has helped me move through moments of self-sabotage quickly to get back on track in completing major life goals.
The first thing to do to stop self-sabotage is to eliminate or remove yourself from what I like to call “the devices of sabotage”. These are the default things we use to more or less procrastinate when we are really supposed to be working toward our major goals. TV’s, Phones, Games, etc. If it’s not a part of the major goal you are trying to achieve, it’s gotta go! You can resume these activities once you have accomplish at least 3 of your major goals.
See the thing about winning is, the more you win, the more you win. So it’s important to allow yourself to establish a core winning track record before you fall back into familiar counterproductive habits. The devices of Sabotage support these counterproductive habits, so take a needed break from them while you evolve.
The next thing you need to master in this process is the art of divide and conquer. The problem with facing big new challenges is that they are big and new. So to combat this, the easier thing to do is to separate large projects into smaller more familiar tasks and steps.
For example, if your ultimate goal is to launch a new business within 3 months, don’t get caught up on the enormous amount of work that needs to be done within 3 months. Yet, divide the tasks into smaller achievable daily milestones that have strict but realistic deadlines attached. You will be less likely to self-sabotage the smaller divided tasks as they will ideally be easier and faster to complete. You may find that often times you will complete the smaller tasks ahead of schedule, thus resulting in achieving goals faster.
Now here’s where things get interesting and where a lot of people go off the rails. Once you have removed the distractions and implemented task oriented behavior that promotes winning, you need to push yourself to fail fast and often.
I know this may seem counterproductive to what we just discussed in the previous steps but it is a main ingredient in facing and overcoming your fears of success and failure. Be relentless in trying and learning new things regardless of their difficulty. And don’t just learn them, implement them!
Yes you may find many things that are outside of your scope of understanding. But you will also find the things that you are good at and they will become valuable addition to your toolbox.
As a result you will gain the confidence to approach any goal without fear as you will feel prepared to take on whatever challenge arises. And once you have eliminated fear, self-sabotage will typically follow..